The most accurate thing I can say about haircuts for me is that they have been inconsistent. I have never had a stylist for more than a year or two at the most. I cut it differently and get different colors. What I want to talk about in this entry is working through my desire to shave me head.
When I was in Bowling Green towards the end of my stay there, I shaved my head one summer. It felt liberating but I didn’t really own it. I often covered my head with handkerchiefs, hats and wigs. If I do it this summer I do not want to succumb to that. But I understand why I did it because I have lived in such conservative communities that they don’t understand why a “transgender woman” or more accurately non-binary trans-feminine person, would want to get rid of their hair. To be feminine means to have longish hair.
I want to shave my head because I hate my hair. It is thin and getting worse. I want to feel cooler in the summer. I want to not have to mess with it through blow drying and styling it. I want to challenge what it means to be trans-feminine. If I wear a wig it will be easier to put on. I want to challenge what it means to be transgender and what it means to be a human being.
When I was an undergrad there were so many queer and feminist women that shaved their heads. I loved it. Some still do, but I don’t see nearly as many. I think a woman shaving her head is exercising her agency. She may or may not mean to make a statement, but I believe she is definitely making a statement against heteropatriarchy. The beautiful woman with long, lustrous hair stereotype needs to be ground into dust. Women are beautiful regardless of the length of their hair. In a way, a woman with a shaved head is giving her two middle fingers to sexism, misogyny and patriarchy.
Because I am so inconsistent when it comes to hair, I could not maintain a shaved head, anymore than I can maintain one single haircut or hair color. But I can do it from time to time. And I can try my hardest to be unafraid about it. But I know there will be people that don’t understand, or will have questions, or that think I have cancer, or that think I am de-transitioning. I will try to be gracious and patient with these questions. At any rate, I won’t let anyone stop me!
People should be able to wear their hair however the hell they want. Any color, any style, any length. And this should not conflict with their profession, their community or their gender self-determination. Hair length does not determine gender identity. I think hair can be fun and people can explore their identity through their hair. It can be a major mode of self-expression, much like piercings or tattoos. Unfortunately, our oppressive cis-heteropatriarchy wants to police and punish hair self-expression. We must resist this tyranny and proudly sport whatever the fuck hairstyle [or lack thereof] that we want. There is pleasure in resistance and in rebellion and it makes whatever hassles you have to face more than worth it.